http://bubblegumgray.tumblr.com/

Legitimacy.

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 11:52:00 -0700

Today, it finally hit me that communication is difficult because people rarely use words the same way. Words that have definitions in the dictionary that are as clear and distinct as “clear and distinct” — nuances, as you will find, subsist.

Which is why important conversations are somewhat akin to Chinese Whispers. Things might be improved if the interlocutors involved don’t merely hear and wait to respond, but truly listen ‘between the lines’. Which requires compassion. Of which Akin and the other Stooges have none.

Since there are uses for the word “rape” outside of its increasingly nebulous meaning in legal/political discourse — i.e., “I was raped,” in context of someone telling their friend — it would be nice to protect that. It’s an endangered species of a use: poached, hunted, and shot at for game. Redefining experiences a priori is a new sport for the Republican White Male.

All the did-you-say-no’s and did-you-fight-back’s and did-you-try-to-stop-him’s in the world poison that endangered species definition. You, the RWM, might be surprised at your response if you woke up one night to someone who decided to play “park my car in your garage.” Rape is as much feeling raped as it is being raped. Even when you’re asleep. And it is ALWAYS forcible.

Note.

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 10:18:00 -0700

Patriarchy is perpetuated by the male (and sadly sometimes female) insistence on enforcing their opinions and views on our bodies and what we do with them.

Thank god the Arizona contraception bill was vetoed. I’d had enough of that.

Well now that Jimmy is dead, this seems inaccurate.

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 09:49:03 -0700

Well now that Jimmy is dead, this seems inaccurate.

Refresh button.

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:19:26 -0700

Revamped, again! Very excited about this new layout, which is not so different from the last, but alas, it looks so much cleaner.

LACMA.

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 20:17:41 -0700

LACMA.

Fiction.

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:01:45 -0800

About to embark on the Infinite Jest journey, and a tad nervous.

I’ve been thinking about they ways in which writers convey concepts in their novels. It’s baffling, ingenious, and elegant (or it can be).

To survive.

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 01:56:00 -0800

She sat up in front of her computer, which told her it was 1:45 AM - but the caffeinated drinks that she had been feeding into her body told her that it was more along the lines of 8:13 PM. Rapt, and eating an altogether too-salty bowl of pasta, herbs, and a generous helping of olive oil that she hastily threw together out of a desperate hunger and whatever contents she could find in her refrigerator, she was content in solitude. No one was there to cast opinions, she could sit with one leg propped up on the seat of her chair, gluttonously sliding pasta up into her mouth without lifting the bowl, panting intermittently from the high levels of sodium on her palate.

And that was how she died of heart failure at 80, she could not help thinking to herself. Morbid thoughts were a vice.

Between standing and sitting.

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 19:31:00 -0800

I’ve been thinking a lot, over a long period of time, about how to broach the subject of rape. For every article out there that doles out facts about the number of women who get raped, or how the majority of rapes are not perpetrated by strangers (i.e. more Joan Harris than Charlotte King - {warning, these links lead to disturbing Youtube clips from Mad Men and Private Practice, respectively}), there is a side of my brain reserved for the consideration of what can sometimes be a careless accusation in a court of law where punishment may be exacted.

Many of my linguistically-pedantic friends may find problems with how ‘rape’ is defined - we should be careful and specific, etc. So, in a situation that finds two drunk parties engaged in coitus after hanging out at a bar one night, while the woman in the dyad in question may find that to be questionable action the next morning - and would never otherwise or in sobriety engage in sex with the male in question - it is difficult to prove rape in this situation (I know that it is a huge assumption to designate the genders as I have but it is for the sake of brevity and the point that I am trying to make).

To give a real life anonymous example: girl hangs out with male friend one night. Both get hammered. Girl blacks out somewhere along the way, while appearing to remain fully functional. As the night progresses, she wakes up (or comes to) to find said male friend having sex with her. Girl feels incredibly upset and emotionally fraught in the aftermath.

Is this rape? Difficult to pinpoint. Were they being flirtatious while they were drunk? Before they were drunk? To what extent is the guy here culpable if he saw no indication that she was blacked out? To what extent was the guy drunk enough to be a poor judge of how drunk she was?

Is it fair to be considered culpable for an action that may stem from the unconscious mind - actions from thoughts that surface as your waking consciousness is compromised, either by substance, or sleep, as in somnambulists?

In a conversation with a friend who brought up the unconscious mind issue, I found myself resenting the fact that he seemed to imply that it wasn’t rape, because that would be difficult to legally prove, and that it’s important to define the word in careful terms because of possible undue punishment. I would be lying outright if I said that I didn’t in some small part agree with him, but his statement seemed insensitive in a way, as if to downplay scenarios of sexual violation unless they met certain criteria - and that until they did, it wasn’t rape.

It’s a word that encompasses a lot. When has consent been given? Do you have to say “yes” every time? What if you said “yes” by giving in to implicit pressures, but you meant “no”?

Currently, I’m inclined to think that it is rape if the woman felt and continues to feel violated after the event. But I also think that rape exists on a gradational scale of violence, along which there reaches a cut-off point of clear culpability. Legally, there is nothing to further argue until you see specific cases. But to deny these scenarios the term ‘rape’ when a woman comes out of a sexual experience feeling violated - I think it comes from a certain negativity our society feels towards whistle-blowers, particularly when they’re female. Why are we so quick to question the veracity of the accusations?

Brits vs. Americans: verbal edition

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 23:50:54 -0800

Inspired by the Economist and Gawker articles about Britishisms vs. Americanisms, here’s how it breaks down. For me.

Insect > Bug [sounds better]

Lift > Elevator [shorter word]

Trolley < Cart [shorter word]

Lorry > Truck [sounds better; however, I still use ‘truck’]

Queue < Line [more letter- & vowel-efficient]

AdVERtisement > AdverTISEment [breaks up the word more nicely, I would say]

GARage < GaRAZH [sounds better]

Flat ~ Apartment [I use both]

Holiday > Vacation [Re:Madonna’s song; ‘vacation’ sounds dreadful]

Petrol > Gas [sounds better; ‘gas,’ really?]

Car Park > Parking Lot [on account of I still say that]

Chav > White Trash [shorter phrase]

Cheers/Peace,

KITTEEEHHHH.

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 17:19:00 -0800

KITTEEEHHHH.

Volt Magazine.

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 14:32:15 -0800

Volt Magazine.

Alone with your thoughts and your speechless best friend at...

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:28:40 -0800

Alone with your thoughts and your speechless best friend at dusk. Idyllic.

Normalcy.

Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:20:00 -0800

As the sex scenes of Finchel and Klaine loom closer, the Parents Television Council inch towards pissing themselves with disapproval. News flash, PTC, and anyone out there who shares their views. Your teenage boys have been watching porn since they were 10. Your daughters have been masturbating since just around that age too. Teenage sex does not happen because of television - it happens because of hormones. Why insist on selling abstinence when it clearly doesn’t - and won’t - work? There’s this guilt about sex in this country that is just baffling.

Kids should learn that sex is not something they should feel guilty or shameful about - and perhaps they’ll learn what their parents or teachers aren’t telling them through television shows and characters they’ve come to care about. Granted, there are responsible ways to show sex on television shows aimed at younger audiences: promoting safe sex, the concept of being ready, demystification, etc.

Also, can we please celebrate the fact that this has never been done on a television show about high school kids before? Two high school couples - one gay, one straight - having a go at it. There is a truth to the timing of it, and a truth to the Klaine characters’ sexuality. The more mass media chooses to show these scenarios, the closer we’ll get to acceptance. It’s normal. Accept it and move on.

And to wrap things up (pun intended), here’s something that’s been bugging me for some time now. This whole “abstinence” thing that this country seems to be obsessed with only makes it all the more tempting for kids, much like the legal drinking age of 21. It makes the act seem immoral, and like the legal drinking age, it is rare that anyone adheres to these pressures. Let’s stop giving kids a complex about sex. It’s just sex. Calm the heck down, PTC, and let’s make it a Glee-ful process for the young’ins.

Dree Hemingway photographed by Sean Thompson

Sat, 05 Nov 2011 01:44:04 -0700

Dree Hemingway photographed by Sean Thompson

It's the little things.

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:51:00 -0700

An old friend and I were intellectualizing love.

Him:
see i kind of wonder about love - like how much of it is based on not comprehending the person you love?

Me:
that probably depends on how you process other people’s perceived shortcomings

Him:
yeah

Paul Mfkn Newman.

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:55:08 -0700

Paul Mfkn Newman.

What?! My phone! It was just right there!

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:49:00 -0700

Where do they make them like this.

Sat, 22 Oct 2011 18:07:00 -0700

Where do they make them like this.

Air.

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:34:00 -0700

So much distilled to this: the strength lies in knowing you don’t really have control of anything or anybody other than yourself. Look forward - and as you do, remember to let go of what’s behind you. Forgive. Open your heart. Embrace the facts as they are and be resigned to things that you can’t change. Sometimes, there really is a quota of effort beyond which extra investment is wasted - or even detrimental. Be compassionate towards the behaviors and words of those who offend or annoy you - because you’re human and imperfect too.

Crush.

Fri, 21 Oct 2011 18:06:41 -0700

Crush.